The “We Buy Houses Cash, and Can Close Fast” Guys …Sure you do (wink-wink).

Whenever you market an investment property that you either own, have equitable interest in, or maybe you’re just the listing agent, I’m 99% positive you’ll receive more than a few phone calls from…

The “We Buy Houses Cash, and Can Close Fast” Guys!

A vast majority of the people who quote the line “We Buy Houses Cash, and Can Close Fast” are students of the so-called real estate gurus. Unfortunately for you, many are actually still just beginners and/or wholesalers with scripts they got from a course.

Not ALL! I said a vast majority.

They will usually start off with something like, “I’m from Such and Such Investment Company, and we buy houses cash, fast, can close in 3 days, blah blah blah”, and basically just start reading from a script, trying to get you to answer a ton of questions before you can even get a word in edgewise.

Their goal seems to be bombard you with so many questions and pump you for so much information that you forget to even ask them anything. Total offensive play, they want to control the conversation, and by default. you.

Your job? Defense. Change the frame.

Take control of the conversation, or risk getting sucked into a black hole of bull$**t.

And to any and all “cash buyers” reading this, if you get offended by this, stop being a baby. It’s not just you, everybody is full of $**t until they can prove to you otherwise, and I include myself in that.

Look, I get it. We ALL started somewhere, but those fake out calls are definitely annoying, especially when we want to be talking to actual cash buyers. Time is money, right?

But wholesaler or agent, before you write a caller off completely, just remember one thing 

Real Estate is a people business. There’s a good chance you might encounter the voice on the other end of the phone one day, at a networking event, at a property, anywhere. It’s in your best interest to handle them as respectfully as you can because you never know who might end up becoming a future joint venture or business partner (ask me how I know).

Back to controlling the conversation. Ask the Golden Question!

When these so called “buyers” hit you with the “We’re cash buyers, we buy a lot of houses” line, you force them back to playing defense as soon as you can with a:

“Great. I’m glad you called because that is exactly what I’m looking for.Just so I can confirm what you’re saying, 
Can you please provide me with the 3 addresses of the last 3 properties you’ve purchased in this area?

Then, wait for the response. Oh, and be prepared to write things down. Because if they give you the addresses, you’re going to need them for …no, I have to leave that for a later lesson. It’s good though, I promise 😉

But here’s what usually happens on these calls:

  1. If they are TRULY a Cash Buyer and/or part of an Investing operation, they can give you 3 or more properties that they have closed on or even in the process of closing on right now which might be in close in proximity to the property you are marketing. And with those guys, don’t be afraid to ask an additional question “Are you the actual buyer, or just looking to wholesale?” You want buyers, but if they disclose that they just want to wholesale, this could be a potential joint venture/co-wholesaling deal, and these are the guys that can help if you get stuck with a property you can’t move. Note: If they keep trying to hide that fact that they are wholesalers, don’t deal with them. People who try to hide things like that do not make for good partners or smooth transactions. Let them go see the property and they can be “Plan B”, whereas “Plan A” is to just deal directly with another actual Cash Buyer. Some wholesalers actually DO buy cash (like myself) so don’t count them out completely.
  2. If the “cash buyer” caller cannot give you 3 properties, allow them to explain why. This is usually the moment of truth. Some of the responses include:
    1. “We are new to the area and haven’t purchased any properties in that area yet.”
      1. Your Response: “Okay well first I need some information from you.” Get their name, company name, email, direct number, a website if they have one (remember you control the conversation), then tell them, “Before we go any further, here’s my email, send me proof that you have enough funds for a cash purchase. Once I receive that, we can proceed.” This shuts 99% of the fakers down. The caller will try to continue the conversation, but remind them respectfully that until they can provide you with that proof of funds, nothing more will take place, and you look forward to receiving that. Most of them will never respond, and you have thus eliminated them. Also you have their information for future reference should they ever try to contact you again about a different property (they often do) and you’ll already know how seriously to take them.
    2. ” We represent a group of investor/buyers who are actively looking in this area”.
      1. Your Response: “So you’re basically a wholesaler, and you want to market my property, is that right?
        1. Their Response: Usually some version of “Yes” and then try to convince you of how many cash buyers they have and how they require 50% to provide their buyer. This is usually utter nonsense.
        2. Your Response: Set the Rules “I don’t mind sharing with other wholesalers, but here’s how it’s going to work. Before I get into business with ANY wholesaler that I don’t know that hasn’t proven anything to me, I want access to their inventory as well. Basically, if you want to eat off of my table, then I want to eat off of yours. So send me a list of deals that you yourself have directly under contract so I can send to my buyers as well, and we’ll go from there.” I cannot tell you how many times this weeds out the bull$#***ters from the professionals PLUS it gives me access to more inventory (if they actually have any good inventory) and shows me if they are the kind of person I want to work with. Time Saver.
        3. Their Response: If they are good at what they do, they will of course agree to share and provide you with their list, and that opens the door to a possible good co-wholesaling/joint venture partner. This works, trust me. If they are too new or just suck at what they do, they will either tell you the truth that they don’t have any and are just starting out (just be nice and add them to your email list, keep it friendly) or they will try to stretch the truth in some way as to why they don’t have their own inventory but still try to make themselves look good somehow. Dump them (see example below).

Co-Wholesaling fail

(By the way, Mark is one of my Virtual Assistants. When they text me by the name “Mark” I know he’s doing his job)

And guess what? June magically stopped texting me. So as far as I’m concerned, June is full of $**t. Now I can move on to dealing with real buyers.

Other Typical Weasel Responses Include:

  • “I would just like to get a little more information before I answer that.” That’s usually some assistant trying to get deals for another wholesaler by calling ads off of Craigslist to get information from you. If they cant’ even identify the exact address they are calling about, dump them.
  • ” Actually my client is a cash buyer, blah, blah, blah” It’s usually an agent, not a direct buyer. Take their information but if the agent proves hard to deal with, dump them. Sorry agents, get educated or lose.

Okay so, I hesitated to show you this, but then I thought, why not?

So I live in a major metropolitan area. Which means a higher concentration of crazies and douche-bags.

Sometimes you have to have to speak to people back in their native douche-bag tongue because it’s the only thing they understand. I wouldn’t advise anybody else to do this, but as for myself, I make no apologies.

Edgwood dbag 1

Edgwood dbag 2

edgewood dbag 3


Needless to say, the texts ceased.

One little note here, the person’s name and previous messages did not add up to what they were saying (notice the name Janet in the first picture, that was the name left in a voicemail) so I really didn’t know who this person really was, it was a little suspect. Call it instinct. I’m not really that mean, LOL.

Here’s one more if you care to see it. He tried to Control the Frame and it got flipped on him big-time.

That Time That Dude From New York Tried To Play Me.

It’s a Facebook thread that documented another “Cash Buyer” trying to impress me with his words, and while he was busy being a blowhard by text, I sold the deal by text to someone else (see the picture in the thread). Too bad, so sad.

(Make sure you open the comments to see it all, it’s pretty hilarious!).

I have a lot of these types of text engagements, and to be honest, it’s probably not the best use of my time …but it sure is fun 🙂

Don’t judge me though, 95% of my customers love me. And that’s good enough for me.


  • Wholesalers – If you are calling other wholesalers with the “We Buy Houses Cash” script and you get called on it, just be honest. The other wholesaler might take a chance on working with you.
  • Agents – If they call you with this line, use the Golden Question to your advantage, and just remember the person calling might be both wholesaler AND cash buyer, so if you play it right, you could be mutually beneficial to each other. Wholesalers can make agents look really good when they have a problem property they need to move fast and no offers are coming in, I’ve helped quite a few agents out of a jam that way.
  • Cash Buyers – Listen if you are a real cash buyer, then you will have no problems here. Don’t take it personal, just answer the question honestly and you’ll be moved to the front of the line.

Want to know more about how to charm the socks off of other wholesalers, agents, and investors for fun & profit?

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